Jaw Dropping; Awe Inspiring

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Anythin'

"I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby"

You know I will, all I can, all I am able to...




Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Spirallin' Choice

It's a spiral you know? But I am not too sure which way it's headed; down or up?
It's the moment in your life, where you have no clue how you ended up here or what you're going to do next....
It's a part of the turning point in your life, where certain promises are fulfilled and hopes assured to you....
Because this is truly when you need it the most.

It stopped being consistent, this series of spirals, now it's just a whole lot of hurdles thrown at you....And you constantly find yourself on the verge of tripping and falling flat on your face!

You can jump through only so many loop holes, until you find yourself wondering if you even want to keep going. You can go through only so much, until you find yourself questioning if all of it will eventually pay off.

If, at this point of your life you are the most vulnerable, and you feel all alone, would it be any different at the end of the line?

The spirals at a pause, and you watch from the outside... do you want to get back in? To continue a journey so unexpected, so unfulfilling, so disappointing... only to hold on to hope for a better end...?
Or do you choose, to stand out, and start again?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Best of the Best - Muhammad (SAWS) :)

Muhammad Khairu KhalkIllah, Peace Be Upon The Messenger - The Last and Final Prophet

I wish I lived during your time, 12fth Rabi’ Al- Awal 570 A.D the day and year this world was blessed by your birth. You were always simple, always so honest, and so humble in every imaginable way. Allah Subhanawatallah tested you from the very beginning till the very end ; you passed each of them so bravely, so humbly, so loyally. You were Muhammad son of Abdullah, grandson of Abdul Muttalib and the son of a Quraishi woman. You were human just like all of us. You were the head of the children of Adam, the slave of Allah and His Prophet. You were the merciful guidance that Almighty sent for humans. You were destined to be twice orphaned, you were destined to be the defender of the orphaned and poor and you were destined to be the last of the Prophets of Allah. Your death came a s a blow to everyone around you. Humanity lost its best, the day you passed Ya Rasool of Allah. And it misses you so dearly, and needs you even more.

Peace Be Upon you my beloved, Ya Rasool Salaam Alaika – you were the orphan child who became responsible for quenching the world’s spiritual thirst for love, justice, liberty and truth. You did not join your people in worshipping idols, you never ate the meat of any animals that were sacrificed to them, you never drank wine, you never gambled and you never uttered foul speech or bad language. Ya Rasoolillah, you had and will always have the most beautiful of all personalities. You had and will forever have the most gorgeous and purest of hearts that Allah Subhanatallah created.

You had a character that left a mark on everyone, Mu’min or Mushrikin. It seeped into every ones lives, while you were living and while you weren’t. How do I even begin to express my love for you Ya Rasool of Allah? We have nothing to offer than our humility and prayers and the effort to be even 1/5th of what your companions were and will forever be. It’s a huge shame we missed out on your presence, we continue praying and continue being in need of your presence.

No one’s word can do justice to you or your life. You were everything to the Caliphs, your companions, your wives and every single person around you. Their love went beyond boundaries for you. Being humble is an understatement when it comes to you Ya Nabi, you were pure modesty and goodness in every way. You had the grandest of hearts, open for everyone and everything. SubhanAllah, you were free from all evil, even the dirt you’ve been buried in can’t touch you. Your lessons are too many to count; your Sunnah is one of the most blessed mercies bestowed down on us. You’re more than a blessing in all our lives, you are more than a gift, and Ya Rasoolilah you are more than a pure mercy to each and every one of us from the Almighty Allah.

Ahmed, Mustafa, Muhammad, Rasool of Allah, Nabi of Allah, Sadiq- al Amin.. Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam – YOU were the best, You will continue being the best till the end of time and after. Your life is instilled in all of us, but it does you no justice Ya Nabi of Allah. You will be the only one who will want to save us from the fire, you will always be the one with the heart of gold willing to forgive anyone. You loved your ummah so genuinely... and we pray your ummah does not let you down.

Every day as a Muslim, gives us more reasons to love you. You are the reason we have Allah’s word with us today, and by His Grace will continue for generations the same.


You are literally world renowned, for nothing else but your personality.

These are a few instances, of famous non-muslim opinions on the Rasool of Allah:

Rodwell in the Preface to his translation of the Holy Qur'an

Mohammad's career is a wonderful instance of the force and life that resides in him who possesses an intense faith in God and in the unseen world. He will always be regarded as one of those who have had that influence over the faith, morals and whole earthly life of their fellow men, which none but a really great man ever did, or can exercise; and whose efforts to propagate a great verity will prosper.

Arthur Glyn Leonard in 'Islam, Her Moral and Spiritual Values'

It was the genius of Muhammad, the spirit that he breathed into the Arabs through the soul of Islam that exalted them. That raised them out of the lethargy and low level of tribal stagnation up to the high watermark of national unity and empire. It was in the sublimity of Muhammad's deism, the simplicity, the sobriety and purity it inculcated the fidelity of its founder to his own tenets, that acted on their moral and intellectual fiber with all the magnetism of true inspiration.

Dr. William Draper in 'History of Intellectual Development of Europe'

Four years after the death of Justinian, A.D. 569, was born in Mecca, in Arabia, the man who, of all men, has exercised the greatest influence upon the human race... To be the religious head of many empires, to guide the daily life of one-third of the human race, may perhaps justify the title of a Messenger of God.

Sir George Bernard Shaw in 'The Genuine Islam,' Vol. 1, No. 8, 1936.

"If any religion had the chance of ruling over England, nay Europe within the next hundred years, it could be Islam."

"I believe that if a man like him were to assume the dictatorship of the modern world he would succeed in solving its problems in a way that would bring it the much needed peace and happiness: I have prophesied about the faith of Muhammad that it would be acceptable to the Europe of tomorrow as it is beginning to be acceptable to the Europe of today.”

Mahatma Gandhi, statement published in 'Young India,'1924.

I wanted to know the best of the life of one who holds today an undisputed sway over the hearts of millions of mankind.... I became more than ever convinced that it was not the sword that won a place for Islam in those days in the scheme of life. It was the rigid simplicity, the utter self-effacement of the Prophet the scrupulous regard for pledges, his intense devotion to his friends and followers, his intrepidity, his fearlessness, his absolute trust in God and in his own mission. These and not the sword carried everything before them and surmounted every obstacle. When I closed the second volume (of the Prophet's biography), I was sorry there was not more for me to read of that great life.


You will be able to find more from these websites :

http://www.cyberistan.org/islamic/quote1.html

P.S : would be great if whoever wanted to add more to this :) He’s your Rasool as much as he is mine.

Alhamdulillah <3

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Journal 20

Okay, so it is the time of the year for things to start going downhill. Yipee… -__- I am oozing with sarcasm as of now, cos that’s all I've got.. It's been along time coming this one though, I thought I'd be ready you know?

I'm not. Far from it actually. I'm terrified of the coming reality, and all I can think of is I need to go crawl into a hole and wish it all away. -__- This aint sarcasm, this is the level of my foolishness - beyond normal. I tend to deny stuff (within my head) but I know things hardly EVER work they SHOULD, but I still keep denying minor facts and truths; just to keep my sanity in tact.

Thats normal right? Well for my level of human, I say it is. Prayers are all i have now, reminds me of the cheesy song by bon jovi - Livin on a prayer. Yes, yes... I manage to have cheesy moments for my life, just to keep it... what you say... movie like...

My life has plentiful drama, so a few cheesy music scenes won't really kill the reality of it all.


So coming back to depending on a prayer, really? Yea, really. It's now at this point, I'm fucking helpless and just need a way out of this retarded cycle called 'life'. Period. I want out. Or do I? Arrrgghh..

I'm a mess on my own. I don't need life to throw me a curve ball to actually ruin me, I can do it pretty well myself. It is at this moment, I begin to despise the very being of 'me', cos I just don't see any balls in me to actually pull this whole reality parade off. I despise myself in fear of letting down the one person I care about so much more than anything in this world because of my stupid stupid self.

You are most definitely my kind of beautiful. Have always been, and forever will be by Gods grace. You've managed to do alot of things that I thought you'd never be able to accomplish when it comes to me. I mean come on, it is ME. I stand for High and Heavy Maintenance. So I owe my world to you.


So apparently Blair Waldorf (yes i know...don't judge me) has a saying that goes "Destiny is for losers. It;s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.". I can't help but want to deny that truth, but you can't help but agree that what she says does run true, to some limit I guess. Cos this aint the Upper East of New York. Way way way far from the reality of that lifestyle, but still... maybe I should keep pushing? Should I?


My reasons of pondering, and hesitation : the consequences of doing something really risky for the sake of gaining something amazingly wonderful. Sounds simple and tempting, aint so easy my friends. But life goes on yes? Why am I this worried? Maybe because the balance of things will just be totally flipped, and whatever I actually do give a damn about won't prolly have a chance of staying in my life for reasons God literally only knows. And then what? The unknown freakin' scares the shit out of me. No seriously it does. My unknown. For MY life. Knowing scary negative portions of it not only makes things worse, but just makes me want to not disturb the balance of things!


Yes yes, I might just want the cake and eat the cake too sometimes... Either way that phrase just does not make sense, and I don't agree with it.

Life has to take a turn somewhere where it favors you're desires right? Atleast once?


Lord, I pray that it does. This time.


Otherwise, it's another friggin curve ball, lifes throwing at me... and I have no clue what to do with it!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Your Game

You, the stranger... You, the one claiming to love with all your heart...
You, the distant one... You, the one wise enough to prove through words your worth..
You, the best friend... You, the modest lover...

You... the gamer, the player..Are games all you fill your life with?
Is genuineness ever a part of your play? Is pain ever a part of your soul? Is guilt ever in your written scripts?

You, the ever so confident... You, the uncaught cheat...
Your plots can run only so far, your plans can only fall through so many times...

You... the multi person, You... the one who does not fear,
Do you ever think twice about all the lies? Do you even wince before carrying it all out?

You, the lie
You, the hypocrite
You, the fake

You are everything everyone despises, yet you manage to enter peoples lives and ruin them...

Your great game can go on for only so long, before you realize your more lonely than you could ever be.

You... are pathetic.

The great game of yours, is no more one thats hidden from my eyes.
This is the end of you and me.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Photo

I saw this new photo of yours... I forgot how fast you can make my heart beat, by just one smile...
Do you know how amazing you make me feel? I doubt it... It's like the first time I'm looking at you, and you make me fall for you all over again....
I forgot how effortless it is for you to be the reason for this crazy emotion...
I forget how it felt to be inches away from you, and feel like I'm about to fall....

I forgot how breathtaking it all is.... Just being with you, next to you... How nothing has to happen to prove to me this is the most perfect feeling in the world... How could I ever ask for more?

I forgot how wonderful it is to hear your voice in my ears... just inches away from my face,

I tend to forget how those eyes can see right through me...

This new photo of yours... reminded me of so many things I wish to never forget for the rest of my life, how can I?
That smile is all it takes, to bring peace to this insanely mental mind of mine... That face, the faith in your face... God how can I want more?

This new photo was something I needed tonight... to remind me of so many things, I can have... and have... I've been blessed with you... God, I can't believe how happy it makes me...

Your face... Just your face, can you believe that? That amazing smile, trust me when I say... I thank Him for every moment you smile at me...
I love you, more than you know... more than I could have imagined myself to love you....

I forget how perfect you can make me feel.... But I love how life can surprise me with it <3

Sunday, June 6, 2010

****

It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream where you're falling and want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but it's all so out of your control, you can't trust anything anymore no one is who they say they are, your life is changed forever and the only thing that can come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will ever be able to break your heart that way again.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

*bla*

Being broken-hearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts. - Greg Behrendt


Not Enough. Not Anymore.

You know that sadness that overwhelms you sometimes?
The one that gets you all heated up around the neck...and spreads through your body like a wild fire?
It comes with pain and disappointment. It comes with regret and bad memories. It comes like a gush of wind, now stronger.
It makes you want to hate. And makes you want to not care anymore.
Does it mean much when this happens? When you forget to remember the reasons why they get you down so much?

Where does the boundary for letting it get to you get drawn?
I can't write it all away. I can't talk it all away. Neither can I push it all aside.
You're always alone when you need someone the most.
You're left alone to clean the crap. To pick up pieces of a puzzle you never thought existed. You're the one left to choose to be the bigger person or to be happy yourself.

This sadness that overwhelms you doesn't let you forget. Not completely. Live for once. Just for you.
Because in the end you're the one left alone. To clean up the mess. To sort things out.

Fairy tales don't exist. Everyone knows that. Theres never truly a happy ending.
All you got is hope. Really? That's all you get? HOPE.
Well sometimes hopes just not enough. Sometimes what you hope for NEEDS to happen.
Sometimes only hope won't get you through it all.

Reality is maybe you do deserve something better and you're settling for less because thats what life handed to you.

So hopes all you're getting. No fairy tale ending. No happy ending. Just Hope.
And this time, it's not enough. Never will be. Not for this.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Heaven In The Form of Chocolate

So my friends for a while now, have been goin on about this lovely piece of sweet...or heaven whatever you may call it. And I managed to have it. I managed to get them to take me there and have it.
Good God, words cannot describe it more perfectly. Its perfect. Warm moist chocolate cake with an inside of chocolate creamy sauce. On the top is a scoop of soft cool vanilla ice cream covered with a hardened layer of yum chocolate. Caramel spilled all over the cake. And fantastico *mmwaah*

The first taste... mmmmmm YUMMMMMM... omg... like seriously... it was mouth watering... it was warm and moist...and yum...


Heaven. I needed it. After an amazingly odd week. Heaven in the form of chocolate. Heavenly indeed.


Everytime. All the time.


I'd do it again you know? Us, you, me, all of it. I'd do it again. I'd choose you every time.

I'm not obsessed. I'm not clingy. I don't revolve my life around you. I don't expect you to be there with me all the time.

But till life gives me my guarantee. The guarantee that you shall stay mine forever, I'll stay this way.

I'm not obsessed. I'm not clingy. I just miss you all the time. More than you do me. I guarantee YOU that.

I'm not obsessed. I'm not clingy. You're the hope that I have and the future I need. I want you all the time. More than you do me. I guarantee YOU that.

Life's shitty. Yes. But, I'd do it all again anytime.

Us, you, me, all of it. I'd do it again. I'd choose you every time. Always.

I'm not obsessed. I'm not clingy.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

You still have all of me

Cause none of us thought it was gonna end this way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
Its hard to wake up, when the shades have been pulled shut
When your throat starts to clench, and tingle and your heart gets so warm, the heat travels through your body. When your stomach starts to feel, those unforgiving butterflies that, spark the instant flow of tears. that's the worst pain you'll ever feel, that's your heart breaking.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that we'll be OK
The things that you say were never meant to hurt me, but I cant help dying
You are my purpose...you're everything
This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
So here's to everything, coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
You're a drug
Like the gun inside my mouth
I know it's wrong
But i just can't spit you out
Happiness is a warm pun
And I love the taste of steel tonight
I know it happens for the rest of your life
Not asking
Just doing darling
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
then you feel so low, you can't feel nothin' at all
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
You still have all of me

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Lindsay Rey - You Make Me Happy

It's the heart on your sleeve never making me wonder
It's the bond that we tie up and over and under
You're the sun and the rain and my grass is always green
With a kiss on my cheek, always letting me know I'm the birds and the bees
I'm the apple in your eye
I know that you know that I know you're all I need

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better
There you go and do it all again
Hope this feeling never ends

'Cause you
You make me happy
You
You make me happy

It's the sound of your voice at the end of the phone line
A tickle in my toes just to know that you're all mine
Like an ice cream sundae with a cherry on the top
It's the look in your eyes when I'm wearing your t-shirt
Your cute little smile after a long day of hard work
And I know that you know that I can't give you up

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better
There you go and do it all again
Hope this feeling never ends

'Cause you
You make me happy
You
You make me happy

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better
There you go and do it all again
Hope this feeling never ends

You
You make me happy
You
You make me happy
You
You make me happy
You
You make me happy

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Right now, I despise you - in open

You shame me.... You embarrass me.... Ironically you seem to not know any of your doings....

I secretly despise you for it, for the fact that you do it as well as the fact you don't see what's right in front of you...
I secretly despise your oblivion... and you're ability to not care, and go to bed without a worry in the world....
I secretly despise you for making me feel so alone even though you say you'll be there for me....
I secretly despise your ability to be so cocky and rude, and not even bother to make sure you caused no pain....

You shame me.... and make me feel so naked....
I secretly despise you for being able to hold your head up high while doing so...

You never know how often I feel this way.... I secretly despise you for that





Monday, April 26, 2010

Run

Run run, as fast you can... She runs... all across the coast line... visions of everything she loses with every step she takes race through her mind... Her heart pounds in her chest the faster she moves past the daemons in her world... without a care of where she ends up...as long as she’s far enough to not be found.... Run run, dear one.... where they can never find you... where you make your own world... run run, love where you find your peace...

They will never understand, never give you the chance to prove what you believe in....

Run run, for all that you desire.... don’t hold out on yourself anymore, they seem to blind themselves to what’s right in front of them...You know better than anyone else you deserve this, you deserve it... run love, they will never understand....

It may be best this way, away from the lot of them... ignorance never gets one far, not far enough to change the truth at least... so run dear run, for you deserve the world.. And what it gives to you in your life...

Find the edge, jump off it...risk it all.... live on the belief it’s worth it... you know it... it’s worth it all...

Run run, as fast as you can... they won’t stop, they won’t care... they will never understand.

Naeem's Blog: The hell with god

This was one of the blogs I was completely in love with, he writes amazingly... and I could never have said any of it better than he has.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Happy Birthday

It’s not that I’m obsessed about you it’s just that I’m greatly attached to your being.

It’s not that I crave your attention every second of the day it’s just that I need your presence as often as possible.

It’s not that I can’t live without you it’s just that I don’t want to imagine it as my reality.

It’s not that I can’t sleep without you it’s just that I’ve grown to love your warmth.

It’s not that I miss you every minute of the day it’s just that I adore having you in my mind.

It’s not that I won’t ever let you go it’s just that I choose never to.

Love doesn’t exist, some might say; a state of mind others say... I honestly don’t care. I’ve got you. I choose to love you, adore you, be attached to you, miss you, and care for you... as long as I live. *inshallah*

You’ve managed to stand by me through so many moments of my life. You’ve manage to be my rock when I needed you to. You’ve been everything I’ve wanted and more. I hope this day and this year brings you great joy my love. You of all people in my life deserve the best of the best. And I pray to the Lord to give you just that someday soon. And I pray for you to never doubt my intentions. This is a wish and prayer from me to you. This is a little note to let you know I’m here and always will be *inshallah*.

--- All the way from the deserts of Arabia to you.... Many Happy Returns Of The Day




Thursday, March 4, 2010

Cold

Stab me in the dark, Stab me deep... make the damned smiles disappear
Let the bittersweet blood run across the cold blade... all those lifted spirits let them fade into this darkness....
Your lies are proof of everything you try to hide... you despicable soul, nothing you deserve...
Those joys of laughter you shall soon forget...
I'm here to strip you of any good you've known... For your pretense you get exactly what you ask for....
Stab me in the open, Stab me cruelly.... you pathetic fool, you know not of what your actions may cause... your weak intentions are excuses for your existence...
Feels good to touch your pale scared skin with this blade.. to see the blood running... to watch you regret.... to watch you want to take back time....
Don't hide from me you pitiful clod... You don't fool me and you never will...you should've known better than that.... either way it's too late
Stab me cold, Stab me savagely.... Let that smile on your face be your last...
I feel your body go limp in my hands... the rush of adrenaline is amazing, you give me such pleasure and you don't even know it, I shall live with that....
You cease to exist now. You lousy excuse of human. You cease to exist now.
Stab me in the dark, Stab me deep...let me dream of your eyes losing life...let me relive this moment.



Monday, March 1, 2010

a losing peace of mind...

So i think i am in the process of losing my room in the house, as in my folks as punishment of knowing who i want to marry and spend the rest of my life with apparently think taking away my room is going to change that fact...
-__- i see no connection there.. but okay...I don’t want to lose my room, because it’s my room. It has my things in it, my purple wall, my books, my friends gifts...my everything in it... and i like how it is when i sleep, real darkness. Like real dark. And i can cry whenever i want to, scream whenever i want to..sing and dance too. Honestly, their mind set really goes over my head sometimes. They want me to move into my sisters’ room, the one where my 2 younger siblings sleep in – one of which who lives in the dorms - but i really really don't want to. So again it comes down to me not asking so much from them, but they make me feel like I've done nothing for them and just keep taking, which is practically unfair. I'm not one of those rebellions in the family (though sometimes i wish i were..) and I've come to realize all people do is take advantage of that fact. Fuck them. That's all I can say. That's how pathetic the control over my own life is.
Me being me, they repeat the same damned thing they expect from me over and over, till I give in, till the point where I honestly don't see any reason in arguing and I do what they expect from me - it's been that way for the past 19 fuckin years.. and when i ask for the one thing now... all of what I've done is thrown off the wall as though it never existed...sigh...
so now my room..I can't move my stuff... i tried..theres too many things..and I just dont wanna move... besides I hardly live in that house, cos I'm constantly travelling up and down...it's the one place at home I have my damned peace of mind...for their own reasons, they demand that away from me as well.
Me being me, that will prolly happen... soon enough.