Journal 12

We say we're supposed to expect the unexpected... but is that even practical... or even something you could put into practice...?
They say things get worse before it gets better... but where's the line drawn for whatever the 'worst' maybe... ?
What happens when something uncontrollable... compeletely unexpected... and incomprehensible... happens? Then what?
To all those plans... even the ones to back you up? when the unexpected happens? Coz your not ready for this... then what?
How are promises fulfilled when life never brings opportunity to you... or even if you're running searching for it... and you don't find it... what then?
What happens when you just can't help having to say goodbye...?

"you can't make it feel right.... when you know that it's wrong"

What do you do then...? when life proves, all that you were sure of, everything you could guarantee yourself on...what happens when life proves you wrong?
Why is it so hard at one point.. that the very hope you were holding onto starts slipping away? What then?

How much of hope can you keep filling yourself with...? Optimism? faith?
Being human, is to err... and so what if you run out of faith...hope..optimism? for a while?
How do you move on from that? How do you let go of things you needed with all your life.. how do you detach yourself from them... not cos you want to...but you have to... cos thats the only way life has to go on... cos you have no choice... how do you do that? how do you move on from that..?
When your whole heart suffers from a pain so deep its hard to comprehend....? How in gods name is someone to move on from that?

Whats the next step...? does it just come to you?

when your heading in a direction..with a ton of warnings... but a deep instinctive feeling of a promise so true... is it all worth risking your life?

Is it possible to pull through it all by being stubborn? with arrogance?

"love you enough to let you go?"
why would that even be a choice... why should it.. why should someone have to make that choice when he/she doesn't want to..and is goin to regret it for the rest of their life?

Does it all it come down to..eventually giving in to lifes ways... the fair and the unfair... the right and the wrong...the painful and the pleasurable... the easy and the hard... just to take it all as it comes... to cry when you need to... scream when you have to.... laugh when you want to.... live cos you need to.... and regrets happen... its not life if you dont have them atleast once....

But yea... i do wish... certain things never happened..and would give anything to go back and change it all..have the power to make it a bit more easier.... and not have decisionswhere you had to make a choice...and there was nothing in between... but either you win or you lose....

Absolute Nonsense....