My Sorrow, My Saviour

I want to stay in love with my sorrow, i think I know why..it's because I cant find anyone who can figure out what I feel...its only me who knows...and is clueless all the time..
Its because, everyone thinks just ignoring is going to solve the problems...
Its because most of the time, i dont want to have anyone around me anymore...i want to be left alone..
I think I love myself when I'm alone more when I;m with anyone else...so many people I befriend, or fall in love with for that matter...don't seem to understand me..dont seem like they wanna give time to figure me out...
Thats another reason i prefer being alone, maybe they all can give me somethin from life i cant give for myself...but thers a handful of pain that comes with it...which i dont think i can take anymore...
The sorrow I have, makes me feel as though I deserve to be on my own...as though theres something out there for me that will keep me satisfied if Im on my own...
Expectations have ruined my life...my relationships...another reason i prefer being left alone..
Sorrow...is the one thing I dont feel like i need to share it with anyone...i can be the most depressed person in the world and not show it...i can be dissappointed with everything around me and not show it...it gives me my privacy...my own different state of mind..
Its where i dont have to expect anything from anyone, just because they dont know anything about me..its sorrow that makes me miserable but yet satisfied about something..
Its in my sorrow that i dont think about you...what you do to me...what you do to hurt me...what you to to disappoint me...time and time again...you do it butnever realize it...and i want to scream it out to you...but i wont...because you should realize it all on your own...so its my sorrow where i will be till then...where maybe for now..or for the rest of my life...is my hiding place..
Its the sorrow...that doesnt destroy me...but its what you do to me, its the sorrow that helps me build up the courage to speak my mind...
The people i love the most, disappoint me the most, destroying me slowly by slowly...my sorrow helps me keep them in my life...without giving up too quickly...